This morning while I was doing my volunteer work for Meals on Wheels, the manager asked a gentleman how he was doing. His reply was, of course, “I’m good.” A co-worker and I teased him about the flat look he had when he said that. He grinned and said, “We all lie when people ask how we are. None of us says, ‘Oh it hurts here and here.'” I thought, “Boy is that true!”
I live in a three story apartment building that is for 55 years and older. I have many friends and acquaintances here so I’m asked how I’m doing whenever I come out of my apartment. I smile and say, “I’m fine thanks. How are you?” I’m not about to say, “Oh my God! I am having the worst flare of Fibromyalgia and CFS! My throat is so sore and my legs hurt so bad. The muscles in my eyes even hurt.” Yet that is how I really feel today.
People who know me well enough to know I have numerous illnesses, will come up with concerned faces and hushed voices to ask, “How are you doing today?” I can’t even bring myself to say the truth to them. It just seems boring and self-centered. I only have three friends with whom I feel I can be truthful and two of them are also chronically ill.
I think that these days, “How are you doing?” is for the most part meaningless; it is just a long form of, “Hello.” Yet we sometimes do need to talk about how we really are. For me it’s close friends, journaling, blogging and social media that provides a safe, comforting way to share without being seen as whiny or boring.
PS. Who or what is your way of sharing how you are really feeling? Please leave a comment. Other readers and I would really like to know how you share your pain and illnesses!
After a month of being MIA, I’m back! I’m sorry to have abandoned you all, but I have some good excuses!
First, I started to do some research on how to improve Peering Through the Fog. I was just starting to read and study this research when my cat, Gracie, became very ill.She was vomiting A LOT and I went around behind her cleaning up vomit A LOT.
I took Gracie to the vet and he thought she had kidney disease, especially since she is 15 years old. He put her on Pepcid(Yes, people Pepcid!) and did some lab work. She absolutely got better on the Pepcid and her lab-work came back really good. I have been so relieved that Gracie is well and equally relieved not to be stooped over cleaning up barf anymore!
Meanwhile all the bending and scrubbing and worrying caused both fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue to flare something fierce. I’ve had crippling pain; it even hurts to move my eyes.Sometimes I just want to sit and cry.
However, I’ve still tried to occupy my mind as that is the only way I get a little relief from the pain and fatigue. I’ve been coloring, went back to reading and studying my blog research and even took an online class.
As you can see, I’ve also updated Peering Through the Fog with a new design that I know will allow you to move around the site and easily find what you’re looking for. I will soon be on Pinterest so will be letting you know when that is up and running.
Even in the midst of one of my worst flares, I’m so excited to be stretching my mind and starting new ventures. I wish you all a little excitement in your lives; excitement somehow keeps me in charge of my life and wins a couple of battles in the war against chronic illness and pain.