This morning while I was doing my volunteer work for Meals on Wheels, the manager asked a gentleman how he was doing. His reply was, of course, “I’m good.” A co-worker and I teased him about the flat look he had when he said that. He grinned and said, “We all lie when people ask how we are. None of us says, ‘Oh it hurts here and here.'” I thought, “Boy is that true!”
I live in a three story apartment building that is for 55 years and older. I have many friends and acquaintances here so I’m asked how I’m doing whenever I come out of my apartment. I smile and say, “I’m fine thanks. How are you?” I’m not about to say, “Oh my God! I am having the worst flare of Fibromyalgia and CFS! My throat is so sore and my legs hurt so bad. The muscles in my eyes even hurt.” Yet that is how I really feel today.
People who know me well enough to know I have numerous illnesses, will come up with concerned faces and hushed voices to ask, “How are you doing today?” I can’t even bring myself to say the truth to them. It just seems boring and self-centered. I only have three friends with whom I feel I can be truthful and two of them are also chronically ill.
I think that these days, “How are you doing?” is for the most part meaningless; it is just a long form of, “Hello.” Yet we sometimes do need to talk about how we really are. For me it’s close friends, journaling, blogging and social media that provides a safe, comforting way to share without being seen as whiny or boring.
PS. Who or what is your way of sharing how you are really feeling? Please leave a comment. Other readers and I would really like to know how you share your pain and illnesses!